The words we speak have power over our life, and worship is powerful form of declaring God's promises over our lives. There is power in declaring the greatness of our Saviour over our us.
Yesterday this was seen as we worshipped with prisoners in a jail yesterday. That experience will be right up there with the most surreal I've ever had. The power of being unified singing "No Longer Slaves." My heart broke as God showed me the love He has for them. To look past the problems and the "surface" level coverings that everyone will see at first glance, and see their hearts. Wondering what could've lead them to make those choices, and how perhaps that could've been prevented. But despite what those choices lead to, God can always restore and refresh them.
As we spent that morning preparing all the packages for the prison, I started praying for the day ahead. I knew that going to the prison would probably be the part of the trip that would stretch me the most.
The way they worshipped was beyond powerful, the freedom that was declared. They may have been in a physical prison, but they had freedom in the spiritual realm. They had been set free by Jesus.
I cried there, cried as we left to the car, and cried on the car trip back. Because the Father's touch is powerful and gentle at once, and it was like a tidal wave that had crashed over me.
Again I enjoyed spending time with Pastora Roszel and Yrah Lee, getting pampered at the salon and sharing a meal (though we quickly realised Pastora Roszel's watch was incorrect, and we had to rush to the church).
I shared the difficult part of my testimony on a public platform for the first time during the prayer meeting at Kingdom Life Butuan. How at fourteen I had been violated, and how that crumbled me some to such a low worth and self-image and lead to my anxiety, hospitalisation, and three year process of feeling truly worthy of love and purpose again. How I could at the end of last year call my mom and just cry, because I finally found completely happy and at peace again.
I knew that it was important to share it, even though it was difficult, because I know there are sadly many girls, women, and people who have gone through a similar thing to me. That I could at least understand to a small degree, and the spirit guides me to empathise with the rest.
It was testimony to me how I've truly come, that I felt able to share my story without feeling ashamed and dirty. I know that I'm worthy and pure. That I'm worthy of love. I pray that Jesus will show this to me everyday, because it isn't out of my own. There is no way I could do it in my own strength. Some days are also harder than others, and some days the anxiety is so strong and real again that I feel I could barely get out of bed. But my God is stronger, He turns my test into a testimony.
There is no way that I could ever look back on my story and not see God pulling the thread all the way through and bringing it all together. He is still healing me and will use me to show others that He can do the same for them.